A week or two ago we were looking into the history of Christmas number one betting markets. Obviously this year the "who's going to be festive chart topper?" debate has been dead on arrival because the answer was always going to be "whatever Ladbaby do", but back when there was some simulacrum of openness there was always one single that would be backed to low odds and then completely flop.
A prime example is I Wanna 1-2-1 With You by Solid Gold Chartbusters, Jimmy Cauty's Nokia ringtone sampling return to pop with bassist to the stars Guy Pratt, which as the latter played on the Fat Les singles* was hyped as "The World's First Novelty Supergroup" and was fourth favourite for the critical 1999 festive number one, only to peak at 61.
It's not just knowing comedy throwaways either - fourth favourite in 2017 was a cover of We All Stand Together by Choirs With Purpose, a collaboration between a load of charity choirs including the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir that had reached the top the previous year and the high school group that performed at that year's One Love Manchester. Didn't even make the top 100.
But in our research we found something very odd. The 1989 Christmas number one was Band Aid II, but not even the people involved with it knew about it in late November when the Mirror published this:
So they got numbers 2 and 3 right, and let's not overlook that When You Come Back To Me is, by dint of the lyric about "armfuls of presents", far, far more a Christmas song than Stay Another Day or 2 Become 1. But there in third favourite position is something that seems faintly ambitious even then, Bygraves already a byword for a dying field, with a single backed by two medleys - It's Been A Long Time/You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby/Blueberry Hill/Sentimental Journey, which is essentially just four songs, and Hokey Cokey/Under The Spreading Chestnut Tree/Horsey Horsey/Lambeth Walk, because no Christmas party is complete without a Singalongamax medley, right?
Something had to be done. So, in the Mirror's Woman column a few days later, this entreaty (and apparently details of having bought something that wasn't released yet) was made. The sub-editor really earned their money that day.
IT'S THE DEBATE THAT'S SPLITTING THE NATION. And a week later, despite Band Aid II having been announced and recorded by then, the belief that the honours were entirely being fought between these two carried through to this correspondence.
Stamps were much cheaper in those days, but even so.
Buoyed by such high profile publicity, and a single appearance on BBC1's afternoon show for the old 'uns Primetime, Max's version of White Christmas soared to number 71.
What’s your favourite example of a Christmas chartbound hit that couldn’t fail until it did? Is it when Chicken Shed Theatre Company’s I Am In Love With The World was bound to ride their Diana connections and the national mourning for the People’s Princess to topple all, only to stall at 15 (a place below Vanilla’s No Way No Way) because everyone agreed it was a terrible song?
(* it fits the topic to a T but we're pretending Naughty Christmas (Goblin In The Office) doesn't exist, thanks)